Making Amends with Chase Utley
So, it was brought to my attention that I neglected to include Chase Utley, hero of Game 1, in this year's Apple Lineup. Now, I could sit here and try to come up with excuses or try to explain how this happened but I won't. It's unacceptable. Heck, even the New York press has gone out of its way to honor the guy. To try to make up for my error, I'm going to go to the heartfelt, albeit completely unoriginal, lengths of writing him a creepy love letter:
Dear Chase,
I feel like I can call you Chase because... its your name. Chase Utley, you're a guy who's really good at baseball. You play baseball better than... well, everyone I know! Awesome! Someday, I would like to sell you some fruit. I think that maybe you would like the fruit and in eating my fruit, nourish yourself to hit the ball even further and harder than you already do. You run fast, too. Maybe after you're done hitting mammoth home runs and running fast, we could get together and talk about fruit... and baseball, ya know - whatever. Because that's what friends do... when one's an awesome and fast baseball player with cool hair and the other friend grows fruit. I hope you write me back because you are like the Honeycrisp... of my heart.
Go Phils!
From Our Farm, to Your Home,
Farmer Ben
